Living in fear




In part, I feel like I’m letting a lot of things slide at the moment. . .

Even though there are days (*like yesterday) when I feel exhausted//overwhelmed, overall, I’m still happy, content, and inspired right now. I’ve just been disappointed in myself for being a bit of a failure of a friend//daughter//sister//kid//student// group leader and co-worker. Okay, failure might be a bit extreme, but I’ve been terribly occupied and I haven’t managed to make a bigger effort in any of these areas. I’m surviving, but making a lot of messes too!

In this crazed state of mind, I’ve been thinking a lot about fear. Fear and I have a strange relationship. I often feel I don’t fear enough, but at the same time, fear is one of my great motivators in life.

Tomorrow is my birthday and I always like to use this time of year to set new intentions. . .

Better understanding my relationship with fear should be one of them. . .

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” – Marianne Williamson

+ My favorite song of the week and a song that sparked some of these thoughts. . .

[Photos: Trekking. The Annapurna Circuit, Nepal//Grace Farson]

empty spaces

oh lazy saturdays where have you been from my life?!

i spent the night with kels and i’m just now getting around to thinking through what i want to accomplish.

i feel rested, content and at peace {amazing, considering it’s exam week!} and now all i crave is a huge mug of tea and some empty space.

_ _ _ _ _

“all the time we spent in bed, counting miles before we said, fall in love and fall apart, things will end before they start.”

– sufjan stevens

_ _ _ _ _

plus, three fabulous things for your day:

+ i’ve got so much love and admiration for this group of empowered women it’s unreal

+ watched this movie last night and it was so, so lovely and real

+ creepy abandoned cities

{photos from the annapurna circuit, outside of town of manang}

reasons unknown

i am incredibly emotional today.

i just want to let out a good cry.

i have absolutely nothing to be sad about. in fact, i am incredibly content and happy with my life right now.

. . . but i just have the need to cry.

maybe i need to watch a sad movie or listen to a sad song {i don’t know if this song is helping or hurting at the moment. . .  its just so good. one of those songs i will never tire of. . . and man, the music video is gorgeous!}


+ a few weeks back, kelsey and i were interviewed by brenda barger from davidson news [dot] net. the article {with some of my photographs} was recently published here.

+ got to see (500) days of summer for the first time last night with anna, giz, + roommate {it was so real. so perfect. plus, zooey deschanel’s hair in that film is remarkable}

{photo from my time on the annapurna circuit. words by bon iver}

yoga in the himalayas

in the middle of our trek on the annapurna circuit, brad and i took a full day off to acclimatize in the small town of manang. i spent my day “off ” exploring this tiny, but beautiful mountain town, doing a little yoga under a great big, blue sky and the himalayas, and reading and resting my blistered feet.

the best part of my time in manang was this experience {or the multiple cups of tea and cake i consumed}. . .

the weather was balmy, considering we were at almost 12,000 feet in april and i was all alone. alone to focus on my practice and nothing else. no distractions, no loud noises, just me, my practice, and the mountains. what more could a person want?

. . .

“waking this morning, i smile,

a brand-new day is before me.

i aspire to live each moment


and to look upon all beings

with the eyes of kindness and


may you, and all other beings, be

happy and free from suffering.”

a mindfulness meditation, frank jude baccio

. . .

1.) utthita hasta padangustasana, extended big toe pose {a great pose that not only improves balance but also stretches out your upper leg and hips}

2.) standing side stretch {great for balance and the back body}

3.) virabhadrasana I, warrior I {good for everything}

4.) virabhadrasana II, warrior II { a personal fave. esp. love the transition between vira I and vira II. fab for shoulders and hips}

5.) natarajasana, dancer prep pose {just the prep. pose here. nothing feels better than that victorious feeling once you master a beautiful, steady natarajasana!}