Overwhelmed by possibility


The other day, I sat down to journal and. . . like most days, all that came out was a list.

I wrote down these three things:

+ College is mean. Students are constantly being tempted by all the possibilities. . .nothing ever feels enough. One could always be doing something more, something bigger, something more unique. . .

+ I got lost a lot today and it was the best thing that happened to me. I got lost and truly savored the experience. I first got lost in my car, drove through a forest, parked illegally and ran through the woods,  over railroad tracks, dirtying my shoes and stumbling into a new classroom. . .into a new space and a room full of brilliant, creative souls.

+ Today, I felt total weightlessness for the first time. My amazing Comm//Performance class this semester, gave me the chance to fly.

“Lost opportunities, lost possibilities, feelings we can never get back. That’s part of what it means to be alive. But inside our heads – at least that’s where I imagine it – there’s a little room where we store those memories. A room like the stacks in this library. And to understand the workings of our own heart we have to keep on making new reference cards. We have to dust things off every once in awhile, let in fresh air, change the water in the flower vases. In other words, you’ll live forever in your own private library.” – Haruki Murakami

This semester is going to one trying, challenging and hopefully rewarding time in my life.

Here’s to two jobs, six classes and everything in between. I’m working to find that lovely balance between making money, being a student, making art and creating and spending time with loved ones. . .

For now, I’m surviving. I’m happy and I’m full.

[Photo: NZ walks//Grace Farson]