Two.

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Planning for the future and getting more stuck in the past in the process. . .

“Monsters exist, but they are too few in numbers to be truly dangerous. More dangerous are…the functionaries ready to believe and act without asking questions.” – Primo Levi

Today will be like a lot of other days around here, but I’m not too scared of it. . . yet.

[Photo: Foggy day at Jama Masjid in Delhi, India//Grace Farson]

Living in fear

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In part, I feel like I’m letting a lot of things slide at the moment. . .

Even though there are days (*like yesterday) when I feel exhausted//overwhelmed, overall, I’m still happy, content, and inspired right now. I’ve just been disappointed in myself for being a bit of a failure of a friend//daughter//sister//kid//student// group leader and co-worker. Okay, failure might be a bit extreme, but I’ve been terribly occupied and I haven’t managed to make a bigger effort in any of these areas. I’m surviving, but making a lot of messes too!

In this crazed state of mind, I’ve been thinking a lot about fear. Fear and I have a strange relationship. I often feel I don’t fear enough, but at the same time, fear is one of my great motivators in life.

Tomorrow is my birthday and I always like to use this time of year to set new intentions. . .

Better understanding my relationship with fear should be one of them. . .

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” – Marianne Williamson

+ My favorite song of the week and a song that sparked some of these thoughts. . .

[Photos: Trekking. The Annapurna Circuit, Nepal//Grace Farson]