Learning to say goodbye

Today is my last day in Letang.

I don’t really know how to come to terms with all of it. Four of us went back to Little Flowers boarding school this morning and we essentially just listened to Andrew share various Aesop’s Fables (*complete with illustrations) with class.

By eleven, we were done at the school and I asked to hear//record a Nepali story. Four of the older girls worked very hard and went above and beyond what I expected and prepared for me a beautiful story about kindness. They spoke in both Nepali and English and it made my entire being very happy. After, I spent some time alone, walking through the heat and into the woods. I love the woods. I love that they have become familiar to us over the past few weeks and I love that they are quiet.

I remember during my year off, the thing I never learned to deal with was constantly having to say goodbye. I still struggle with it and prefer not to say bye, but rather, “see you later” or “see you” as they like to abbreviate it here in Nepal. Even leaving NC this time around was bizarre, cut short, and anticlimactic in a way.

This time around, this goodbye, it is all different, although still very hard. This time around, I know that I will come back. I love this place and truly do consider this country my home away from home. I know that in time, I’ll come back. I’ll be different and older, but I doubt I will ever stop feeling what I feel for this place. . . It will always be a big part of who I am.

These past two days have seemed like a lifetime. I cannot even begin to wrap my head around all that I have seen and experienced. In part, I feel like a new person. I know it seems dramatic to say that, but in part it is true. It’s truly amazing that a simple day trip to a tea farm in Nepal can turn into a two-day trip in which you see and experience the Himalayas as well as a seven-hour drive that makes you realize the fragility of life. In two days I saw the world, felt more than I could handle, and saw my life flash before my eyes on more than one account. It was one of the biggest adventures and simultaneously hilarious//terrifying experiences of my life. *And much, much more on this is to come!

When we drove back into Letang yesterday after our unnecessarily long journey, I felt as if part of me was coming home. It felt so good to be back in town and to see friends and smiling faces. At the same time, I found it all to be terribly sad. It all served as a reminder to me that in two days time I would be gone. Away from Letang and the life we have established here. From here on out, the next few days will be filled with travel and more adventures both big and small. All things I am very excited about, although I am nowhere near ready to leave. . . but in a few days, whether I like it or not, I’ll be kicked out of the country thanks to an expired Visa.

For now, I’m enjoying this last day. I’m enjoying my commitment and my promise to return, for I know it is not an empty promise, but one filled with truth and sincerity.

And, I’m enjoying this last day for it is a day filled with sad “see you later“s and remembering how good this place has been to me. . .

[Photo: Beyond the bridge, Letang//Grace Farson]