I wished I had said more in a three hour presentation . . .
or at least I wished I shared more of my true feelings.
I wished I followed my instincts more.
I wished I had a dog to take on walks.
I wished I was Indian.
I wished I had a child.
I wished I went swimming.
I wished I always walked places.
I wished I was back to work at this dark desk in Delhi.
I wished I was the couple making out in the grocery store parking lot.
I wished I had more days like these where I crossed most things off my list.
I wished all the things that seemed urgent and scary at the time were put into perspective.
I wished (for a moment) I was the girl on the bike pretending she was really on a motorcycle.
Then, I stopped.
I stopped wishing.
I wanted to be me.
Walking home on a hurt foot and with a backpack too heavy.
Always with too many feelings. Troubles. Ambitions.
But I’m all I know right now.
All I know is now.
And today taught me this.